Let me clarify: I am very much a work in progress in this area. Midlife has a habit of creeping up on you and one day you wake up with questions such as  “who am I now, what have I done with my life and what do I want to do with the rest of it?” It’s exhausting quite frankly… 

Cutting through the noise in midlife can be difficult and for those caring for elderly parents or parenting teens whilst working or running their own businesses, or maybe, like in my case, all three, it can be relentless – add in a spoonful of social media and whirling hormones and the noise becomes even louder and so sometimes, finding the joy can be hard and just getting some peace away from that noise can be the joy we seek.

Finding the daily joy

I think something I have learnt is that one shouldn’t expect too much and it should be taken in small doses – don’t expect joy to come in a huge rush of elation … small pockets of joy are there if you look for them in the chaos of life or stop scrolling for long enough to see and feel them. For example, a perfectly hot cup of coffee on a sunny morning, don’t just down it and move on, sit on the step, feel the grass beneath your feet, take in the sun and just be. A 20 minute walk in the fresh air during the working day, get those steps in, move your body and instead of sticking your headphones on, make the most of the sights and sounds around you, be it in the city or the country, take it in or meet up with a friend and talk! It might sound like a cliché but don’t knock it until you have tried it and sometimes it’s the feeling afterwards that counts.

Plan the joy

Yes, life is busy, but sometimes the planning process is as joyous as the event itself. Be it as simple as booking a dinner with friends or your partner, taking the time to make a sumptuous dessert that you know you will all enjoy. I have a list of exhibitions I want to take in this summer now that I don’t have to drag toddlers in my wake and am dreaming of a crisp glass of wine on a rooftop with a view to get lost in.

How about planning something bigger, the trip you have always wanted to take for example – it doesn’t have to be for right now, but how about next year? Include some fabulous stops along the way, really take your time over it and savour the planning.

Joy in new Growth

I think one of the things in midlife that can creep up on us is a decreased feeling of self-worth; we have been growing children, growing careers and once you get to midlife you can feel either that your personal growth is slowing down, or even plateauing and that can leave you feeling a bit flat. I recommend doing something for yourself – purely for you – that will give you a boost, a sense of achievement. I recently did a day cookery course, which really isn’t me at all, but I really surprised myself and created a wonderful meal that I felt really proud of – I also met some wonderful women whilst doing it. 

Relive the joy

Ask yourself the question: what did I enjoy doing before life took over? When you were footloose and fancy free? I recently did this and found myself at a roller disco in west London and once I got over the fear, I loved it and it turns out muscle memory really is a thing – I am planning my next outing as I type! I also rediscovered some of my favourite bands and DJs from back in the day and having never been a live music fiend I am now fully embracing concert life. 

Don’t Save it For Best!

Don’t keep things for another day – bust out the beautiful candle you have been saving for a special occasion – what better time than right now? Use the bath oil and breathe it in… wear the dress that you bought for the holiday you haven’t booked yet and feel fabulous in it. 

As you know, I am a massive advocate for self care – and what better way to enjoy that than a facial  or a full body massage, not only good is it good for our skins and bodies but great for our minds too, we come out looking lifted, and rested, but also detoxified and toned – don’t save it for a special occasion, just book it and enjoy…

What joy I am planning:

• Planning our trip of a lifetime once we reach the “empty nester” stage! I have my eye on this new train trip launching in July 2025, on the Britannic Explorer by Belmond, the ultimate in slow luxury – can you believe that it has a spa carriage?
• Wearing the white tuxedo suit that I bought five years ago and planned to wear to my 50^th birthday that never was due to covid restrictions.
• I cannot wait to see the Cartier exhibition at the V&A – on until 16^th November 2025

Booking a Radical Botany Facial with Wildsmith at Liberty in their Treehouse.  Drift off to the sights and sounds of Heckfield place in Hampshire and emerge with glowing skin and a lifted visage. £140 for 60mins redeemable against purchase of any Wildsmith products bookings HERE

Words by Nicola Hughes