words by Emma-Jade Stoddart
December arrives and the invitations come in thick and fast. Drinks, dinners, plans to “catch up before Christmas” stack up quickly. What’s supposed to feel festive can leave your diary busier than ever and your energy heading in the opposite direction.
We’re sold the idea that the season should be one long celebration, filled with sequins, champagne, buzzy dinners and late-night conversations. And while those moments can be joyful, they also come with a cost. Between the outfit prep, late nights, rich food and endless small talk, many of us wake up not glowing, but drained. That wiped-out feeling (think brain fog, emotional flatness and zero social battery) is often referred to as social burnout, or a social hangover.
December amplifies this pressure to be constantly “on”. Friends want to catch up, colleagues want to toast the year, family want to squeeze in quality time and you want to show up, smile and make it all meaningful. Yet the Christmas break rarely behaves like a break. It’s connection on repeat, with no time to actually refuel.
For me, learning to set boundaries has been the difference between enjoying the season and simply enduring it. In my twenties, I’d accept every invite and wonder why I ended up depleted. Now, I know it’s not about being antisocial, it’s about understanding capacity. For some of us, solitude isn’t indulgent; it’s essential.
What is social burnout exactly?
Social burnout isn’t just feeling “peopled out” after back-to-back plans, it’s a deeper state of emotional, mental and physical depletion. “It happens when we’ve spent more energy socially than our body can comfortably replenish,” explains Jess Shand, registered naturopathic nutritionist and hormone health specialist. “It isn’t simply over-doing it – it’s a deeper overstimulation of the nervous system.”
Rather than bouncing back after a night’s sleep, social burnout lingers. It can show up as irritability, emotional flatness, anxiety, brain fog or the sense that even simple conversations feel draining. Physically, Shand says many people describe “heaviness in the body, tension in the chest, a tight jaw or a sense of being ‘wired but tired’.” Think low battery mode, even after a full charge.
What’s going on in the body?
When we override our need for rest, the body shifts into fight-or-flight mode and stays there. “The stress response stays switched on,” Shand explains. “Cortisol becomes dysregulated, which can disrupt other hormones such as progesterone, oestrogen and thyroid hormones.” The result? Poor sleep, low mood, dips in energy, craving sugar or caffeine and difficulty focusing.
During December, multiple stressors stack at once – late nights, alcohol, social pressure, disrupted routines and emotional triggers. “Even positive excitement raises cortisol,” Shand adds. Add the fact that hydration drops, sleep shortens and boundaries tend to slide, and you have the perfect storm for anxiety spikes and exhaustion. A social hangover, says Shand, is the body’s way of “shouting for some real TLC.”
Little-known warning signs
Beyond feeling tired, the body sends subtle cues that you’ve reached capacity. Shand highlights:
- Waking between 3–4am
- Heightened sugar or caffeine cravings
- More colds or slower recovery
- Bloating and digestive sluggishness
- Jaw clenching or headaches
- Feeling unusually cold
- PMS or cycle symptoms intensifying
These small shifts, she stresses, are early signs the nervous system needs rest, not another event in the diary.
The psychology behind burnout
While the physical symptoms of social burnout are hard to ignore, the mental and emotional load plays just as big a role. Emily Austen, founder of EMERGE PR and author of Smarter: 10 Lessons for a More Productive and Less-Stressed Life, says social burnout happens when your emotional, mental and physical energy have been “overdrawn” for too long.“It feels like you’ve been ‘on show’ – performing, hosting, chatting, pleasing – without the space to regulate your own needs.”
Her tell-tale signs include:
- Dreading plans you’d usually enjoy
- Irritability or sensitivity
- Feeling overwhelmed by tiny decisions (what to wear, when to leave)
- Physical heaviness, headaches or tension
- A complete lack of desire to socialise, even with people you adore
Austen says these early cues often get ignored. “Social burnout is your energy screaming that it needs recalibrating, and most of us push past the warning signs.”
How to protect your energy this festive season
To avoid burnout, both experts say the key is pacing – not just your plans, but your capacity. Austen suggests planning your diary around energy, not time. “Ask yourself when you naturally have more capacity, what drains you and how many social plans you can manage before you crash,” she says.
Shand agrees that this preventative approach is essential. “When we override our need for rest, the stress response stays switched on,” she explains, which is why December feels so depleting.
Together, they recommend:
- Keep one or two quiet nights non-negotiable
- Avoid stacking intense plans back-to-back
- Create buffer days around bigger events
- Build micro-rest into your day (e.g. a morning walk, screen-free commute, early finish)
- Pause before accepting invitations rather than defaulting to “yes”
- Eat a protein-rich meal before events to keep blood sugar stable
- Stay hydrated, ideally with electrolytes on busier days
“It’s not antisocial to protect your energy,” Austen adds. “It’s self-respect.”
How to say no (without feeling guilty)
Guilt is one of the biggest barriers to preventing burnout, especially for women. “We’ve been conditioned to believe being agreeable makes us good,” Austen says. But boundaries, she stresses, are not selfish. “Guilt isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong, it’s proof a healthier behaviour feels unfamiliar.”
Here are her go-to scripts:
For declining plans
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m keeping things low-key this week.”
“I’d love to see you, but I don’t have the energy for a big night. Can we do something quieter another time?”
“That sounds great, but I have a low social battery at the moment and just need a night at home.”
For leaving early
“I’ve had the best time, but my battery’s done. I’m heading out.”
“I promised myself an early night – love you all, see you soon!”
For avoiding overcommitting
“Let me check my energy and get back to you.”
“This month is nuts for me, but I’d love to plan something next month.”
“I’m feeling a little socially drained so would prefer to do a walk or Pilates if you’re up for that?”
Shand adds that setting expectations early helps prevent nervous system overload before it starts.
How to recover from a social hangover
When you do reach your limit, Shand recommends supporting your nervous system as soon as possible. Think of it as giving your body room to recalibrate.
A few restorative rituals both experts say genuinely help:
- Hydrate with minerals or electrolytes
- Choose grounding meals with protein, slow carbs, greens
- Increase magnesium (supplemental or through food) to ease tension
- Opt for gentle movement, like stretching or a slow walk
- Create a low-stimulus evening – warm bath, dim lights, deep breathing, phone on silent
- Keep the following day light, with minimal commitments
Alcohol is a major factor in social burnout, Shand says, because it disrupts sleep and depletes nutrients. Drinking smarter (aka pacing drinks, alternating with water and eating protein beforehand) can lessen the morning-after slump.
Her supplement picks to support recovery include:
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